Missing InAction




I have been Missing InAction for the past week and I haven’t been able to do much.  My mind has been like mush and I haven’t been able to formulate a thought, or rather a logical thought.  These episodes hit us like bricks and we are like zombies walking around in the world yet not participating.  This past episode has been a long one, maybe not as dire as past ones, but longer.  I am finally starting to emerge from this state, but still feel empty and uninspired.

Yesterday I made it to a doctor’s appointment, it was a new doctor and with a new doctor comes all the anxieties of will he believe me,  will he treat me with respect.  kindness and understanding and will he have anything new to offer me.

I am happy to say that I can answer yes to all of the above uncertainties.  The doctor was gentle, gave me a thorough examination and talked to me with respect.  Even though he did seem a bit rushed, I didn’t feel neglected.  We went through a history of my illness and symptoms and he asked a bunch of questions about previous medications and then he offered me a medicine I have not taken before.

He wrote me a prescription for Savella, which is the 3rd approved medication of it’s kind for Fibromyalgia.  I have previously tried Lyrica and Cymbalta, with no improvement in my symptoms.  These medications only made me feel worse with their side effects.  So now the big question is, “Do I try Savella”?

I have been researching the medication and its side effects, some of which scare me.  I am sitting here staring at the prescription and I just don’t know what to do.  At first I was so excited that I was offered something new to try and help me and I was going to rush to the pharmacy, but now I really am unsure.  This doctor spent 15 minutes with me and did he hear that I currently have palpitations due to some minor heart issue, or did he hear that I get dizzy at times.  These are 2 side effects of the drug that I am not sure I want to encounter.

The dilemma I feel right now is faced by many people dealing with illness.  Do I try something that could make me feel worse in the short term, but perhaps a little better in the long term?  Do I try something that I likely will have to be on for the rest of my life, if I feel it helps, only to find out in 5 years that the drug can cause cancer or some other fatal ailment?

These situations and many others that I deal with on a day to day basis escape the healthy individual.  Sometimes I just wish I could shake my healthy friends and make them realize how lucky they are.  If I have to hear one more story about how a friend is upset because she had to miss her nail appointment or that she has 2 parties to attend in one day and just doesn’t know what to do, I THINK I WILL SCREAM.

So for today, I will sit and mull over what to do.  I know once I make the decision, I will be alright with it and that will be that.





8 thoughts on “Missing InAction

  1. Claire says:

    Fantastic news with your new doctor! When you get one that is sympathetic and thorough, keep it! I’ve just moved and the two doctors I’ve seen have been more bemused by my condition – the half smile of “oh, this poor hypochondriac, she must want drugs”.
    As for the Savella – try everything, just make sure that you are keeping a written record of symptoms and activity, and that you are monitored closely by the doctor. Leave no stone unturned!
    Good luck xx

  2. kcg1974 says:

    You write inspiring posts. I have awarded you the, Sunshine Bloggers Award. If you do not wish to accept it please pass it on to a friend who is most deserving. Please visit my blog page to see your award and learn the rules for receiving it. Congratulations! http://kimgosselinblog.wordpress.com/

    • Thank you so much for your words and for nominating me. I will visit your blog and read the rules, but I’m afraid there’s too much brain fog right now and will do it in the morning. I’m usually a little less foggy then. Thank you so much.

  3. i’m glad your new doctor seems understanding and willing to listen. I hope the medication doesn’t have too many side effects and really makes a difference. It’s such a dilema isn’t it, desparately wanting your symptoms to improve but not wanting to risk the possibility that medications will make things worse?!

    • I just filled the prescription and am staring at it and really don’t know what to do. I should stop listening to what other people’s opinions are. They don’t have a clue as to how hard it is to get through a day feeling like a do. Thank you for your kind words.

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