Peaceful, Easy Feeling

serene

I, like many other people who suffer with chronic conditions, go through decent periods, tough periods and horrendous periods and I have just been through a tough one (won’t say horrendous, cause it always can be worse). My pain has been intense, my fatigue has been high and the weather is not warming up.   This winter is just not leaving and even though it’s spring on the calendar, the weather in the northeast USA is cold.  I have been holed up inside for months and while I did get a lot of rest, I really haven’t had much social interaction.  I spoke on the phone and texted and emailed people, but haven’t really seen many people in person for months.

Yet throughout all this isolation, I still find that I am at peace.  I am at peace with myself, even though everything around me is in disarray.  My future, my living situation, my job outlook and my health outlook are all up in the air.  Nothing is stable and probably won’t be for a long time, yet I AM STABLE.  I am even keeled, positive and at peace.

Even before I got sick, I was alright when I was by myself.  Some of my friends couldn’t stand the silence and the emptiness of being alone in their apartment.  One of my friends would never sleep in her bed if her boyfriend wasn’t home or if she was between boyfriends.  She would always be busy making places and double booking, just in case someone backed out because she dreaded being alone.  I always thought she didn’t like herself.  This was a friend I grew up with and so I knew her for a long time.  But 6 years ago I made another friend, who also hates being alone.  At 50, you’d think she’d be used to it but I guess some people never will get used to it or be comfortable being by themselves or with there own thoughts.

Someone who isn’t comfortable with  who they are, can’t be alone for long periods of time (at least that’s my observation).  I like myself and I like the person I am.  So while I may enjoy being around other people, I know I will be fine when I’m alone too.

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14 thoughts on “Peaceful, Easy Feeling

  1. kcg1974 says:

    In spite of all of your adversity you have found the greatest gift in life, peace. Blessings to you.

  2. Well it’s nice to find a blogger who doesn’t mind being alone even with chronic pain. I live with chronic pain. My pain is constant and it is only relieved if I can distract myself nearly all the time. I’ve taken nearly evey medication known for CP and it is frustrating not to have answers. Although I did get a few two years ago. I have to have a routine.
    While I have an understanding and a sense of security within myself for not having to have someone with me all the time, I do understand why others may need someone with them or they feel frightened to be alone. I need communication with others. That’s why blogging has been so good for me. There is usually feedback and we need that. I feel we also need to be accepted for who we are yet…it’s hard to share weaknesses with others. Globalization and Social media has made it difficult to share things that are hard like, chronic pain.
    So nice to find your blog.

    • Hi Barbara. I agree blogging helps keep us in contact with the outside world and with people that suffer in similar ways. I have just started taking Savella for the fibro and we’ll see how it goes. Only a few days into it. Have you tried Savella? Glad you liked my blog.

  3. I really love the way you describe the comfort of being at one with yourself. There are many who need the security of having others near oat all times. Perhaps it’s a sign that being mindful and in the now is something we all need to become at ease with.
    I’m looking forward to finding a place where quiet is the norm and not the rare. Thank you for this timely reminder
    Blessings, Susan ❤

    • Being alone has it’s pros and cons, but when I am so utterly drained and tired, I couldn’t even think of hearing the voice of another. It’s exhausting trying to have a conversation at times and the last thing I want to be is rude to someone I care about. You seem to be at peace when you are writing, so you have to be at peace also.

      • Thank you – an insight I had not grasped. I greatly appreciate that. We do not value the priceless quality of peace and many are uncomfortable with silence which is unfortunate since I find it a balm to my mind and spirit.
        There is something so uniting in sharing silence with another. I hope you find all the peace and quiet you need.
        Blessings, Susan x

  4. Hi there – – I’ve been reading some of your posts and really enjoying them. This one struck so many chords, I feel like a guitar. Just wanted to drop in and thank you for following me recently and also to say I love the name of your blog. But now that I’m here – – I love the content on your blog even more! Take good care,
    Stephanie
    ps. Have to add that in your first paragraph here (being 50 and menopausal and so focused on those symptoms) I thought when you kept saying, “decent periods, touch periods and horrendous periods” you meant time of the month. LOL. I was nodding my head in agreement.

    • Thank you so much for your kind word and for making me laugh out loud. I went through “the changes” when I was turning 50 and the description of periods would apply to that too. Those are long gone now and just think, you have that to look forward too. I more remember the hot flashes, which drove me insane.

      • I simply cannot WAIT to get thru this stuff! I started out blogging for a pharmaceutical company that specializes in hormones and they wanted me to do a humor blog about menopausal symptoms. I kept saying, “What could possibly be funny about hot-flashes??” But I managed to find the humor in all of those annoyances from insomnia to mood swings. But after a while I expanded to the blog i have now because I wanted to write about a greater variety of topics. I kept the name Little Miss Menopause however. It just stuck. So glad to “meet” you!
        Stephanie

      • Nice to meet you too Stephanie. You have to find humor in these situations or else you’d go crazy. It takes a while to get through, so be patient and one day you’ll wake up and it will have past.

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