As I sat around the Thanksgiving dinner table, I wondered how each and every one of the people sitting around me would cope if they suddenly woke up with CFS tomorrow. I don’t think anyone of them would handle the situation as graciously and as humbly as I have. I could be wrong, as some people rise to the occasion and I’m not wishing that any of my loved ones or dear friends, ever have to deal with what I am dealing with. But I do often wonder if anybody can put themselves in my shoes and envision the realities of my life.
Then today, I get this email from The CFIDS Association and clicked on the link and watched a video, which asked the question: What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and were well?
Everyone in the video answered with normal everyday things that people take for granted: getting a job, going on a family vacation, finishing up college; spending a full day with grand kids. I know at the top of my list would be to take a walk, a very, very long walk.
When I was healthy, I never sat and worried about getting sick or suffering with a long chronic condition. I think if I woke up well tomorrow, I would always worry that CFS is like the devil sitting on my shoulder waiting to attack again. Could I ever really shake this experience and not be afraid that with the next step I take or movement I make, I’m going to be in pain and suffer with extreme fatigue. Or maybe the reverse would be true and I would start living life to the fullest, taking advantage of every opportunity presented to me and not shying away from things.
At the very end of the video, it asked the reverse question, What would you want to do today if you knew you’d have CFS tomorrow? The purpose of the video is to raise money for additional research and I hope that it makes people think about what their life would be like if they woke up and couldn’t move or think clearly. If their life was undeniably different from when then went to sleep and different not in a good way.
I am just not sure that most people think that way, unless illness has touched their life. I hope I am wrong and this video raises a lot of money so that the cause of this mysterious illness that desimates the lives of its sufferers can be found and I can wake up well tomorrow.
I guess how I handle a return to wellness is something that I can only dream about right now. I will cross that bridge when I get there and I hope I do get there.