This week is my birthday and I have a couple of little celebrations planned with a few of my friends and hopefully my body will cooperate and behave so that I am able to enjoy this week. When I think back over the past year and think of what has transpired, it occurs to me that basically nothing has changed, for the good or for the bad.
In one sense that’s a relief, but in another it’s a disappointment. I can’t stand feeling like I’m not moving forward. I need to learn and I need to experience new things this year and I’ve made a promise to myself that I will not let fear motivate me to make safe or bad choices. I need to think about making choices that excite me and that will bring me joy and not avoid situations out of fear.
Recently Jim Carrey made a commencement speech at a University and when I listened to it my whole impression of Jim Carrey changed dramatically. This man is profound and deep and is guided by love. His speech has replayed in my mind many times since I’ve heard it and he is right on when he says that many people’s decisions are based on fear disguised as practicality. He also says that you can fail at what you don’t love, just as easily as you can fail at doing something you love, so choose Love.
He’s right. While my choices are limited these days, I still do have many choices. I want to surround myself with positive people who encourage me to continue fighting to get well and who don’t see a sick person when they speak with me and constantly point out my limitations. I want to surround myself with people who see possibilities in life, not live in the past constantly regretting decisions made 10 years ago. I want to surround myself with people who are kind and loving and not people that continually hurt you and place the blame on their unhappy childhood.
So when I blow out the candles on my birthday cake and make a wish, of course my first wish will be improved health for myself and continued health for my loved ones, but my next wish will be that all my decisions this year will be coming from a place of love and not a place of fear.
I have been listening and watching self help, gratitude and positive affirmation videos and I really must admit what a positive and refreshing experience it is to hear uplifting thoughts about yourself and the universe.
The real trick is to keep replaying these thoughts in your head and start to belief them. It’s hard when real life interferes with your perception of how you should be living, but based on what I’m learning if we change the texture of our thoughts, our life will change.
It is hard to change thought patterns when you are in your mid 50s (can’t believe I am in my 50s, but I am). You have grown up believing certain things and have been doing things in a certain way for so long, that it is hard to change. But if change means improving your life and being happier with your life, than that is worth trying.
I am going to follow these beliefs and see where my life takes me:
All is well in my world and I trust the Universe to take me where I need to go
What is right for me will come to me at the appropriate time
I am loving and I am loved
I am willing to grow and change and I am always open and receptive to new ideas
I know I can become more than what I am now, not Better but MORE
Life is as it is. It’s all about our perception of our current situation and our level of gratitude. I am grateful for so much in my life and will not dwell on what I can not change.
I’m so happy today. My very good friend surprised me with this and I am ecstatic. I can’t believe I was given this as a present. I’ve wanted one for a while and because of limited finances, have held off. This is such a generous gift and this friends generosity over the years has moved me to tears.
Maybe now blogging will be easier and I’ll be able to post more.
I’m still learning how to use it fully, but I haven’t learned anything in a while and this is a welcome distraction from my normal chores.
Anybody have any good free apps to recommend or any good tips?