Forgiveness

forgiveness

This past weekend, was Yom Kippur, which is a solemn, reflective day to all Jewish people.  Everyone thinks back over the past year and reflects on things that have happened, people that have passed and the deeds they have done.

On this holiday, it is believed, everyone’s fate is sealed for the next year.  We atone for our sins today and tomorrow we start the new year with a clean slate.  It’s a new beginning, with new possibilities for us all.  In the spirit of the holiday, I have forgiven someone close to me who has hurt me tremendously, on several occasions.

I have been carrying around this hurt and annoyance and it was weighing me down.  I decided that forgivenss was the kindest gift I could give myself to lift my spirit and I also felt it was a gift to the person I was forgiving.  The person was very appreciative and apologized for the hurt and said that for me to forgive them, really shows that I am a special and understanding person.

It felt good to forgive someone, really forgive someone for something big.  We are always forgiving people for running 10 minutes late or for misunderstanding something we said or forgetting to wish us “Good Luck” on an important occasion.  These are little things, that in the scheme of life are unimportant.  But I felt like it was a cleansing to forgive on a greater scale.  Forgiveness brought me peace of mind.  So for now, I have let go of the deeply held negative feelings I had towards this person, but time will tell if positive ones will replace these newly released negative ones.

Forgiveness does not mean that I am forgetting what was done, nor does it mean I’m excusing the offenses.  It means that I am no longer holding on to this negativity and that I am free to move forward into the new year with a truly clean slate.

Happy Holidays!!

holiday

 

This past week was a holy week for both the Christians and Jewish people.  While both holidays are connected, as the Last Supper is said to have taken place at Passover, the holidays are fundamentally different.

Someone once explained to me their belief is that  Easter seems to be a celebration through suffering whereas Passover is a celebration despite suffering.

Suffering is something people with chronic conditions know a lot about.  So while we all are celebrating the holidays this week, let’s hope that as our ancestors before us triumphed over suffering, we too will be able to move forward despite our limitations.

Happy holidays to all!!

 

Happy Thanksgivukkah

thanksgivukkah

For the first time since 1888, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah  will occur on the same date.  Hanukkah starts on the same day every year on the Hebrew calendar, but since the months of Hebrew calendar only have 29 or 30 days, the Jewish year has about 11 days less than the 365 day Gregorian calendar.  To try and sync things up, an extra “leap month” is added 7 times, every 19 years.

Some believe this won’t happen again for another 100 years. others believe the 2 will converge again in 79,000 years and  others believe the two holidays will never occur together again.

Either way, this won’t happen again in my lifetime, so tomorrow is a double joyous event for my family and myself.  Although, when you’re suffering with a chronic illness, no holiday is particularly joyous.  Holidays, since I’ve been ill, are extremely stressful, worrisome and tiring.  I am trying to put a positive light on getting together tomorrow with friends and family, but I am having a particularly bad day, as I didn’t sleep much last night and I am worried that I won’t be up to celebrating tomorrow.

I have carefully planned out this week, so that I’ve had no doctors appointments.  I rested all day Monday, went out yesterday for an hour to do a few errands and am in all day today and again on Friday, yet I am not sure  I will be up to participating in the holiday.

For healthy people, the holiday is a one day event, for us chronic sufferers, it’s a week of careful planning and resting.  Nobody gets what we have to go through to be able to enjoy a few hours of celebrating.

Before I was ill, holidays were always enjoyable.  I have a small family and we all get along very well, so it was never uncomfortable duing a holiday.  I never dreaded being with family as so many people do because of personality problems.

Now holidays are really just an inconvenience for me and it is so hard to enjoy them, but I am going to really try.  I have done everything I possible can to help myself:  spaced in rest days;  have all medications on hand so I don’t need to run to the pharmacy;  have a food delivery coming to my house so I don’t have to go to supermarket; have communicated with my family my limits and that I may need to leave the table to rest; have made sure there are healthy choices at the dinner table.

The rest is up to the Universe.

I am beginning to realize that even when you are in a situation that makes you unhappy, it is easy to think that you have nothing to be thankful for.  But sometimes, it’s the exact time to practice an “attitude of gratitude”.  Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on all we have to be thankful for, but we have to think like that every single day of the year.

May you all get to enjoy a Happy and Relatively Pain Free Holiday!!