I haven’t posted in a while, but have been lurking in the backgrounds reading post of the bloggers I follow, but I’ve been feeling very uninspired. I also haven’t been participating in any of my on line support groups and I have been wondering why I have shifted my focus away from these communities. Instead, I have been reaching out to certain individuals from my past that I miss and that I really want to reconnect with.
For the past 5 years, I haven’t cared or thought much about these individuals. They really, in my opinion, abandoned me when I became ill and when my illness became a problem for them. So why now am I reaching out. I’m not sure. Is it because I am trying to reconstruct my old life (which I know I can’t do), is it because I need to let them know how they have hurt me in order to move forward or is it because I miss human interaction with people. Not just any people, but people that I have fond memories of.
I’ve heard a million times that time heals all wounds and maybe the hurts I felt are diminishing and I am ready to see these people again and discuss how their actions have hurt me. I am trying to arrange to see one person in particular within the next week or so and this will be a big meeting for me. I wonder how I will act and if when I see this person, will all the hurt I’ve been carrying around with me just dissipate or will I have the need to rehash why I felt hurt and slighted by him. These are my truths that I’ve been carrying around, what will his truths be?
I hope I have the opportunity to find out!