Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and all the world is thinking about Romantic Love, well almost all the world. While I am a loving person and have felt loved by family, friends and that special someone, this year Romantic Love is the farthest thing from my mind. I wish I didn’t feel this way and I wish I physically felt well enough and strong enough to be in a relationship, but I don’t and I’m not going to let Valentine’s Day depress me or make me feel bad about myself.
There are so many society rules that make people feel bad and it’s a shame because celebrating should make us feel better about ourselves. Yesterday I read a post from Celeste of Baking, Butter and Happiness and it really struck a cord with me about how we should love ourselves no matter what every one else thinks. I have struggled with my weight most of my life, until about 10 years ago. Obesity runs in my family and most of my female cousins struggle with it. I am not talking about the extra 10 or 20 lbs, I’m talking about at least an extra 50 lbs. I didn’t want my life to spiral out of control and finally made up my mind to loose weight.
I did succeed and felt better about myself, but I wish I could have felt just as good about myself before I lost the weight. Nowadays, since I am unable to move much, I am afraid some of the weight is creeping back on and I hope I do not get down on myself for that. Attitude is what makes us feel good about ourselves and we struggle every day with trying to feel good because of this illness, that the last thing we need to beat ourselves up about is putting on 5 or 10 lbs.
So tomorrow, I will not be thinking about that special someone, I will be thinking about me. I am special and need to remember to treat myself well and to love myself. If Romantic Love is in the cards sometime in the future and I am strong enough and receptive to it, I will welcome it into my life. But I am comfortable with myself and know that I can go on without that special someone and knowing that is special too.