I have been Missing InAction for the past week and I haven’t been able to do much. My mind has been like mush and I haven’t been able to formulate a thought, or rather a logical thought. These episodes hit us like bricks and we are like zombies walking around in the world yet not participating. This past episode has been a long one, maybe not as dire as past ones, but longer. I am finally starting to emerge from this state, but still feel empty and uninspired.
Yesterday I made it to a doctor’s appointment, it was a new doctor and with a new doctor comes all the anxieties of will he believe me, will he treat me with respect. kindness and understanding and will he have anything new to offer me.
I am happy to say that I can answer yes to all of the above uncertainties. The doctor was gentle, gave me a thorough examination and talked to me with respect. Even though he did seem a bit rushed, I didn’t feel neglected. We went through a history of my illness and symptoms and he asked a bunch of questions about previous medications and then he offered me a medicine I have not taken before.
He wrote me a prescription for Savella, which is the 3rd approved medication of it’s kind for Fibromyalgia. I have previously tried Lyrica and Cymbalta, with no improvement in my symptoms. These medications only made me feel worse with their side effects. So now the big question is, “Do I try Savella”?
I have been researching the medication and its side effects, some of which scare me. I am sitting here staring at the prescription and I just don’t know what to do. At first I was so excited that I was offered something new to try and help me and I was going to rush to the pharmacy, but now I really am unsure. This doctor spent 15 minutes with me and did he hear that I currently have palpitations due to some minor heart issue, or did he hear that I get dizzy at times. These are 2 side effects of the drug that I am not sure I want to encounter.
The dilemma I feel right now is faced by many people dealing with illness. Do I try something that could make me feel worse in the short term, but perhaps a little better in the long term? Do I try something that I likely will have to be on for the rest of my life, if I feel it helps, only to find out in 5 years that the drug can cause cancer or some other fatal ailment?
These situations and many others that I deal with on a day to day basis escape the healthy individual. Sometimes I just wish I could shake my healthy friends and make them realize how lucky they are. If I have to hear one more story about how a friend is upset because she had to miss her nail appointment or that she has 2 parties to attend in one day and just doesn’t know what to do, I THINK I WILL SCREAM.
So for today, I will sit and mull over what to do. I know once I make the decision, I will be alright with it and that will be that.