This week there has been a lot of press about Robin Williams and his unfortunate suicide. It is very hard to hear about anybody taking their own life, but when one of the funniest men in my lifetime ends his life, it’s almost unimaginable to think about the pain this man must have been in.
Last year, someone sent me the quote I posted above and I’ve kept it and thought about it often. I thought Robin was so right in what he said. It’s much easier to be alone, than to feel alone when surrounded by people. It seems weird to think that when there are other people around, you can feel lonelier than when you are actually alone, but it’s true. I know the feeling and I think it’s because when I’m alone, I’m at peace and there are times when I’m surrounded by people but I feel turmoil.
I pick up on other people’s energy more than most and that’s why I don’t like to be around certain individuals. Normally I am very chatty and inquisitive. I can talk to almost anyone and make them feel at ease, except when I am around people that exude a certain type of energy… whether it’s an arrogance or a belittlement or rudeness.
It is quite clear that all living things have a life force, a life energy, that can be used to do work and make things happen. It is this creative energy that is very real, but can’t be seen. It is obvious that Robin Williams had an abundance of creative energy. It animated him and gave him so much life that when I watched him on television at times, it almost seemed like he was a cartoon character.
Robin was full of life, but I guess he also was full of the demons that occupy so many people’s brains. How come some people can balance the good and the bad (because we all have that in our life) and some can’t. What makes some of us rebound on a daily basis and others just retreat.
Yesterday, it was revealed that Robin was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s and that he couldn’t face this newest illness. My dad had Parkinson’s for the last 10 years of his life and it did make his life much hardier and less enjoyable, but he faced his demons daily and lived with his limits without complaining.
I am saddened that this great comedian, who seemingly had it all: money, glamour, stature, a loving family couldn’t see there was hope for him and that he had no other choice. It makes me see how strong I am, because I suffer everyday, with no cure for my illness, yet the thought of ending my life has never once crossed my mind. I am not passing judgement on anyone, it just pains me to think that this man felt he had nooptions.