I haven’t been blogging for the past month, even though I enjoy writing more than I ever realized. My career, when I was employed, was working with computers and financial statements. Numbers are cut and dry and programming and designing databases, require a logical forward thinking approach. I had a successful career and this vocation seemed to suit the way my mind worked, or so I thought.
Now after being out of work and on disability 4 years ago to the day, I realize that even if I were to return to work, what I did for 28 years is not what I would choose to do now. My nephew is starting law school in the fall and is so passionate and excited about being a lawyer. I was never excited or passionate about being a financial analyst. It was just the logical thing to do after I received my MBA in finance. I didn’t even interview for any other types of jobs and now I wonder why. Why was I so focused on the analytic career path? And once I landed a job, the career seemed to form itself and then an opportunity opened up for me to start designing databases and I started doing that and enjoyed it.
I was very content in my career. I had 3 jobs over a 28 year career and 1 of those jobs was only for 11 months, so basically I spent 27 years with 2 companies. I must have been content otherwise I would have made different choices. I felt challenged, loved my work family and was very nicely compensated. Maybe that’s why I didn’t even think of doing something else. Most people have to reinvent themselves when they are challenged to do so, just as I have been since I became ill.
Writing has been a very different kind of enjoyment. Writing is personal, writing is subjective, writing is relaxing and writing is solitude. So why haven’t I been writing lately. I’m really not sure. I know I’ve been in my own head much of the time over the past month, trying to figure out ways to learn new things, meet new people and start enjoying life as I have to live it.
There are many paths people can choose when faced with a difficult life situation and I know I have handled mine with grace and dignity. No one can take that away from me. Maybe now it’s time to try and add in a little fun too!